Me and my amazing roommates got the “go ahead” to start moving out about a week ago. So naturally we started 4 days ago and waiting until the absolute last minute to clean it.

A trash bag was started with expired food that sat in the kitchen in the apartment that had no type of AC. This trash tripled in size as we cleaned and organized. But unfortunately the perishables got hot. THEY STANK SO BAD. Our ex chosen roommate who moved out a week before us had left a container of garbanzo beans. I would never wish the scent of rotten beans on my worst enemy. It lingers. And stank up the entire apartment. I put the bag outside.

On the last day for us to have our keys, we decided to go out to eat as a sweet little group and then deep clean the hell out of the apartment.

As a team we got through it kinda fast. The last thing that we had to do was take out the trash. But it had fit just about everything and more in the apartment. There was no way that we could carry it. Genuinely so heavy. Dragging it became the best option, it being the only option.

We started to move it along and it was really so clear that we were not going to make it in one piece. But what else to do? As we drug it, a small trail of liquid started to form behind it. PANIC! spillage is inevitable! The pace picks up and now i’m going quick. As the pace quickens, a smaller trail of NEON ORANGE starts to form. NOOOO! i’m running but a curb is approaching. PANIC DOWN MY SPINE. I jump that curb with my bag of trash, she sticks the landing against all odds. But a handle breaks, I grab the body of the bag and am running. We are stopped. A speed bump has now stopped all motion. We try to slowly pull the bag over it and the bag tears. We stop to think.

Lilah steps in and grabs the bag to pull it and now what used to be a bag is spilling all its contents. SPICY MAYO is all over the place. WARM STINKY SPICY MAYO! But we are in too deep and the trash is now scattered about 8 feet across the parking lot. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PARKING LOT.

We are just about on the floor laughing about this. It was a suicide mission from the start, and the NEON ORANGE STINKY SPICY MAYO trail is too much for us to handle. We have accepted our fate to pickup all this trash but we are very much not prepared so we stare and laugh at the mess for a couple minutes.

An angel flies above us and drops down a stranger with a kind kind soul. A middle aged man who rode over on a bike is now walking over to us with a shovel. WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

He speaks “oh my god” and “wow oh god” like a broken record and helps us shovel our trash the remaining ways to the dumpster. An Earth angel. We give the beautiful soul ten dollars because honestly he was going Gods work.

We did the final drive of dropping stuff off at mine and Pisces woman’s apartment. We are still laughing but hard hard now. A kind of uncontrollable laughter that I haven’t had in a really insanely long time. So I cried, and disguised it as laughter.