I sleep best when i’m alone.

Yesterday was odd. I went to work for a mid Saturday shift. It started perfect but if I sum it up with as little words as possible, I left right at five running out the door and half my eye makeup was on a paper towel in the bathroom trashcan. I shouldn’t get into the rest online because of Digital footprint or something like that……I guess.

Whatever all that. Can’t put it out. protecting my peace.

I have plans to hangout with my Cancer woman. She is to die for. She wants to go on a hike and usually i’d be all over this idea. But my puffy eyes and hungry stomach wants food and a shower.

When she gets to my house she unknowingly corners herself in my living room while I RUN CIRCLES AROUND THE ROOM WITH MY MOUTH while applying mascara. God bless her.

She drives us to a new Thai food place downtown. I got this amazing Brussel sprout dish with tofu. If I could right now I would jump into it and do snow angels. Salivating as I type. While in the restaurant she lets me again run my mouth. I probably should pay her hourly. But we eat and gossip in cute outfits with cute makeup. So far a perfect evening.

Most of the time we hangout we find ourselves shopping. Living with this woman for a year taught me a lot. She has a different perspective than I do, but we tend to come to similar conclusions. I really enjoy that.

We find our way to Target on a Saturday night of course. We run about the whole store before heading to the Department that we both knew we’d end up in the first place. I get acne patches in the shape of blue stars while she gets acne patches in white circles. We get mostly all that we needed and it takes up four hands because we did not get a cart. The self checkout line is crazy but we wait patiently, and talk. The man in front of us is very much listening and so is the woman behind. Like damn, why can’t anyone mind their own business when two loud and observant girls are talking. Hello?

We checkout and head to another store to get some cute purple things for our cute purple Pisces friend. This is also a success plus I find some funky and pink candlestick holders.

We head back to my apartment to unload and urinate. And I suggest dessert because she has something she wants to get her mind off of and I don’t wanna leave her presence yet. So she gets a slice of cake and I get the one vegan option. German chocolate is never something I search for but I have to admit that it was kinda everything and more in that moment. But our conversation has shifted.

My friend had periodically been checking her phone all night because she had a gut feeling that someone was being slimy to her. They were. As the sky darkened her anxiety started building to the point that her legs were shaking. My sweet Cancer woman.

We ended up confirming her intuition which was super disappointing to see. But I have no business sharing anymore of her story. Just know that if anyone reads this… do not lie to a woman, her and her friends will find out.

When I got home that night I held a great distain for men. My rose colored glasses had fallen off and I was reminded of that feeling again. The relief and heartbreak that is felt once you find something out and everything that follows will come crashing down.

I washed my hair, shaved my legs, painted my toenails, put on a slip and powered off my phone. I went to bed alone, this wasn’t originally the plan. But at the end of the day I am a woman and my energy can’t and won’t always be given to a man.

I sleep best alone.