I had a dream last night that I am going to share with you.

In my dream I was at a common outdoor mall in town that I usually don’t regular. And at this mall was a coffee shop that I was like skipping into. The day was warm and summery so naturally I would be floating into a coffee shop.

As I am running in, all but one employee is sitting outside eating ice cream off of cones. They wave hello to me, I do the same and open the door. The woman at the counter has long dark brown hair with a very natural beauty. Long eyelashes, nicely shaped eyebrows and freckles. I tell her that I love the people outside and she says “and they love you”.

I look around the shop and their decoration/menu is a bunch of statues of what they offer. Like statues of coffee and ice cream because apparently they also offer that.

I go to the counter and ask if I could get an iced oat milk latte with pumpkin flavoring. She says of course and starts making it. We have some conversation that I seriously can’t remember but as she is charging me out (it is 4.25 and I tip her 3 because she’s cute) she says “If you like it I work in the morning the next two days”.

“oh I’m definitely coming back.”

“I can’t wait, see you soon.”

• So you see, sometimes I worry that I just tell people I’m bisexual for clout and that I’m actually confusing my appreciation for attraction. And then I have cutie w/w dreams to check me… i’m just scared of women. like flirtatious undertows, and my unconscious want for her to be flirting with me.

I run to my car, so excited to see her Tomorrow. And I start to reverse but in my dream I am at a mall right by a Trader Joes. Trader Joes never has any parking at all, so this is actually quite historically accurate.

I start reversing and a grey mom car pulls to my left to try and take my spot. But zooming in fast to the right is a white Corvette that forces me to reverse quickly into the car parked on the isle behind me. I hit them. And I look to my left and right, suddenly no one is in sight SO I LEAVE!!! WHAT! I definitely thought that even asleep me would have some sort of conscious.

I pull away and head to a 711 down the road. When I get there like a bus full of people are already waiting in line. They also only have like one thing too, all salty cracker snacks.

I head to the back of the line and grab my keys from my bag. I touch my car key and it breaks In half. Immediately I know its Karma. And like halfway across the store I see my dad???

I run over to him and he helps me superglue it together.

The End

You could say I had a fever dream, because it was a dream while I was running a fever of course. But honestly like all my dreams are like this.

I caught the stupid stupid stupid flu from a party I went to a few days ago. This was a week before halloweekened halloween parties which I will always support. I don’t have 5+ costumes for nothing. I expect to wear them all.

I always put so much emphasis on Halloweekend that I always manifest the craziest things to happen. And honestly I hope something wild happens again. I NEED IT TO. I need some life altering event to spark some excitement and storytelling. Cause we all know I like to tell a little story or two.

I have this costume I thought of for halloween that I need a specific person to see me in. Like really badly. Like a specific cutie cat taurus man.

I have been seeing this person for about 5 months now, and its kinda complicated. We only recently established that we both caught feelings. But now that makes it worse right? Now am I emotionally invested? Is that smart?

I spent this whole last year testing my ability to attract men, to build relationships with them, to not have any emotional connection to some, to be manipulated and lied to, to get hurt and also to hurt them. That it doesn’t feel quite right this “thing” I got going on. Especially since I am now emotionally intertwined with him.

I got out of three year long relationship summer 2022. But that isn’t what messed me up bad. The two people who actually messed me up the worst were a coworker that I fell in deep with and….. my maintenance man.

ok maybe I should elaborate.

But not yet. I’ll dive into those later.