I was “wifed” for the remainder of my girlhood years. And while this has impacted my relationship love life probably for the better, I still feel like I didn’t get enough time building those “girl friend” foundations. And I mourn that often.

I played club volleyball from 11-17. Club volleyball was an interesting environment to be thrown in as an insecure and odd kid but I am not going to get to that right now. But honestly the experiences I got with girl groups, mean girls, cliques and shared passion with friends was immaculate. But this was only for about 4 months of the year. I looked forward to sharing hotel rooms and running around with these girls. But unfortunately the negatives outweighed the positives and these relationships ended.

I spent 3 years only seeing one person and accidentally self sabotaged by doing this. My relationship isolated me and made me forget the true magnificent energy that feminine love and care gives you. And I am forever thankful to be able to build feminine relationships with a deeper appreciation.

This last summer I met a girl at a party. One of those instances where you make a whole lot of friendly eye contact and exchange compliments throughout the night. She was tall, thin and had very sharp face features. She had a smile that only showed her top teeth and she had those lovely fangs that made her look so catlike. I liked her energy and after a compliment exchange I found out that she was a Gemini too!! Sometime during this party she asked me to hold her drink while she went to the bathroom. I have never felt happier I swear. The small gesture of trust made my heart LEAP.

She told me she was moving across the country for college the next week. And when I left the party, she hugged me and gave me a bracelet that she was wearing. I don’t think she could even understand just how much that really meant to me.

I am wearing the bracelet currently actually.

This last month at my work we got a transfer. She is tall and gorgeous and so girly. Its immaculate.

We have worked about 6 shifts together so far and I absolutely adore her. She is the kind of girl that you wanna show out for. She is in a sorority and is deeply imbedded in the girlhood culture. I want to be apart of that without having to be apart of it. When I was walking out the other day she told me “love ya!”. And it felt so relieving for some reason. I felt so at peace with the thought of being on a “love ya” status with this girl.

I feel so hopeful