“I couldn’t have done that to your mother” my dad said to me this afternoon as I confided in him for just about the first time. It almost broke me because I realized that not only was it true, but that now he sees how absolutely weak I am.

My family views me as a strong woman with her shit together. I am not. They think I have high standards.

I am weak. I have had to tell my partner multiple times now to be nicer to me. And that isn’t even the reason why my dad said that…

It would break my fathers heart if he knew how I allowed myself to be talked to. The things I have allowed men to do to me countless times.

But what if my patience pays off?

My mother always said “patience is a virtue”. Is she wrong? Would she condone this?

I fear that patience to a man looks like weakness. I fear he won’t respect me anymore.

I am scared of wasting time. An insensitive man with a fragile woman. A man who used to not be like this to me.

A man who might change for me? A man who says he adores me.

My father would have never done this to my mother.