December has kickstarted Winter 2025. The sky is starting to darken at 4pm and the bags under my eyes have doubled in size.

Gemini is ruled by the planet Mercury. Mercury is the planet of communication.

I have been struggling with my inner balance recently. I have found that this has translated to my skin breaking out, or at least i’d like that to be the reason for the imperfections.

I started to see a new boy as of recent. It is so fascinating getting to a point with someone where you actually have to start being vulnerable.. I am having a hard time with this.

Me and the boy had plans tonight for him to take me out to dinner. This would be one of the first times we have really done this and since it was a full moon, this actually meant a ton to me.

Mr. boy went MIA all day.. and later messages me saying that he’s too tired to hangout today and cleaned the house all day and needs a rest day. We talk on the phone right after this and he tells me he’s planning on going to the gym later tonight…

I started going through all my cabinets tonight. Clearing out anything that was taking up space.

At the bottom of the “junk drawer” in my kitchen I found a small, skinny blue battery to a vape.

I do not Vape.

This particular device belonged to a past partner, and it amazed me how emotional it made me.

I ran my index finger up and down the blue, chipped body. I looked inside at the trapped sand and dirt in the crevices. I wondered when the last time it was touched, even considered.

I felt so disgusted to still have such a bold reaction. But I found each scratch so fascinating. I found so much comfort in holding it in the places I know someone else did.

All the mindless time spent on such a poor habit. The impulsivity. The vice.

I crouched with my back against the oven and my knees to my chest. I cried big tears filled with lots of pent up emotion.

I mourned many people in my head. People who once knew all the inner workings of me, and vice versa.

brown, green and blue eyes all embedded in my memory. People who have shown me vulnerability. People who allowed me to be.

Strangers.