Things recently fizzled with a beautiful man I had been seeing for the past 5ish months. I’m perfectly happy with how they ended with you my sweet but how badly I wish it could’ve been so easy with you.

I met him once before many years ago when I was actually seeing his friend. We showed up to an event that he had invited us to, but I made note of him.

Fast forward to a few months ago, I was going through a horrible soul crushing breakup. M came into my work and I told him I recognized him. His demeanor was so chill and friendly and confident. He was so polite and seemed so honest. I imagined what a life with a man like that would be like. And genuinely it was what pushed me to finally cut off my ex.

He came back a few more times, so one night I followed him on instagram. He followed me back the next day. That same week he had come back to my place of work when his friend who was with him came up to say hi, I asked if M was here and he said yes. I replied “I love him”

Girl.

He goes “oh yea you love him.” I say “no but I eat him up.”

GIRL

He leaves and I freak out for about an hour before M comes up and asks if i’d like to do something with him sometime. It genuinely felt like fate.

We spent the summer hanging out 1-2 times a week with very little communication between that. He was like no one else I have ever met. Careless about love but kept me company. I met his family and napped with him in his room once.

We went on hikes, to the coast, made food with his camping gear on little day dates. We listened to music from the 70s but spoke nothing of commitment. We had spoken of exclusivity which eased my mind, but honestly I wanted more so bad.

I wanted him to want me so bad. I wanted him to care about me in a way that I genuinely don’t think is possible for him. He lived a life of solitude but kept himself entertained. He was a low energy man but I wanted him to match my pace so so so bad.

I adored his long hair, his freckles, his mustache, his kind eyes. But the lack of admiration for me on his end was hard to cope with. I knew this was short term, but it felt so nice to be with a good man for once that I held onto every single moment I got with him.

M you mean so much to me and I am so thankful for the time we spent together. I hope you are able to appreciate me the way that I do you.

You never made much sense to me, I adored that about you.

You looked like a young Glenn Frey and that really did it for me.