This last Wednesday I was feeling a little impulsssy when I left Trader Joes and saw a blood draw donation van. I’ve never given blood before and I have plenty so…

I hop right in. They take my paperwork, temp, iron levels, blood pressure and it’s all a go. I get up on the little chair and they stick that needle right in me… I begin to loose consciousness, they stop 😦

I get a little bag of chips and a grape flavored propel and I’m back on my way.

I work the bingo shift that night at work and am scrambling around a little bit. and get a little hungry. The kitchen makes me my “usual” (english muffin that I put peanut butter and craisins on).

And it is NOT sitting well.

Right before the last game which is always blackout, and the tension is always INSANE for this game. The pot of money to win is always over 600 dollars but I was actually gone for the whole game. THROWING UP IN THE EMPLOYEE BATHROOM.

Gross

* said bathroom is dingy, with this nasty old yellow format tile with like brown and grey speckles. With a huge sombrero and a huge spear in the corner (not a Mexican restaurant… not sure about the hat honestly.)

I’m throwing it the fuck up all over and crazy, then I hear “BINGOOOOO”

and I’m running out there because the after blackout stampede will begin and it will be crazy.

My mouth is gritty but do not worry my hands are cleannnn yayyyyy and I am closing tabs so people can go. SO I CAN GO.

Once everyone is out the door I tell my coworker who I absolutely adore that I can’t stay (thanks for letting me go Cancer man) and Im out the door.

I call my sister on the car ride home and proceed to VOMIT ALL OVER MYSELF, MY CAR, MY PURSE, MY PHONE… anything around. AND IT ALL SMELLS LIKE PB EWWWW

I get home and throw myself into the shower and use the antibacterial soap I just got for my new tattoos and am THRILLED to have it. But before I take a mirror selfie cause I knew it would be funny later.. i’ll put that picture at the end hahaha so don’t scroll if ur gonna get grossed out.

I spend the whole next day sleeping and sleeping having fever dream after fever dream and they all suck so bad. Just know I am pissed in that bed. And honestly confused as to why I am not getting better if this is from the blood draw…

I wake up the next day also sick as FFFFFAAAAAAAK so I go to urgent care cause I also had a nose bleed which I never have so it is suspicious.

Urgent care waiting rooms are a trip as one might assume but for some reason I like skipped the line and hopped 6 people. ROCKSTAR ENERGYYYY

I have norovirus…

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